We applied some of the changes suggested by @Pierce. Here is the final version that we agreed on:
The SAFE (Secure Access For Everyone) Network is a decentralised data and communications network made possible by efficiently combining the unused hard drive space, CPU power and Internet connections of its users. It’s a global network without servers that offers a level of security and privacy not currently available on the existing Internet. Users of the SAFE Network have full control over their data, while software developers can focus their time building on top of a secure infrastructure.
The logo competition is now live. See this topic for more info.