No problem. We’re all noobs! Happy to walk you through it although each setup / router will be different, so there’s no one-size-fits all.
First thing is to check your upload speed e.g http://beta.speedtest.net/ - If it’s not at least 6Mbps you won’t be able to run a vault on this testnet.
If all is well, you will need to change your router settings (so you’ll probably need to know the admin password).
If you have a BT router like me (Home Hub or Smart Hub) then go to 192.168.1.254
Click on Advanced Settings then click on Firewall / port forwarding. Enter your router admin password and select Port Forwarding. You then need to create a new port forwarding rule for TCP Port 5483. My setup is shown here. I couldn’t get UPnP to work for this port by the way.
Hope this helps.
If it still doesn’t work make sure your Windows or other firewall isn’t blocking that port, and that you’re not running a proxy or a VPN.